For goodness sakes, don't just stand there. Come in, come in!

So good to see you. Have you lost weight? Well, you’re certainly looking great. Let me show you around. You can go where you like but goodness sakes don’t touch anything – Everything on this page is liable to explode.

Would you like to see my writing? Over here is Commedia, my first novel. It’s about a bunch of slacker actors on a road trip through Britain during the collapse of the Roman Empire. It needs an extra lick of paint but it’s basically finished.

Anyway, for the last few years my day job has been writing cartoon scripts, mainly in collaboration with Lauren Beukes and Sarah Lotz. I’ve written many, many episodes of the sci-fi cartoon show Urbo for the SABC, and Florrie’s Dragons and Mouk for Playhouse Disney, as well as various sitcoms and sketch shows.

Are you thirsty? I’d love to give you a cup of tea but I can’t get it through the modem.

I’m also the lead writer for the “Kontax” series of teen adventure stories, which was the pilot program for the Shuttleworth Foundation‘s mobile literature series. It was wildly successful, and the stories have been read over 40,000 times, and gathered over 10,000 comments from readers. You can read the stories on your phone or your browser, at yoza.mobi.

Those tiny stories? Those are the Genre Stories. I write a new story every weekday on Twitter. Look out, if you’re not careful they’ll scatter everywhere. If you don’t want to read them one by one, I’ve got collections of them here and here, and there’s some more over here and here. Good grief, they’re everywhere.

I direct book trailers for upcoming novels: Here’s one for Lauren Beukes’s Zoo City, and one for SL Grey’s The Mall, and one for Mike Nicol’s Black Heart. I also made this music video for Matt Gair.

In my spare time, when I have any, I sit down with friends to record a monthly podcast where we review the worst movies we can find.

There are other things going on in the cellar, but I’m really not allowed to talk about them right now.

So if you’ve got nothing better to do, why don’t you have a look at my blog, or follow me on Twitter?

If not, then thanks. Come again!